Thursday, February 23, 2017
棋汶:谜语诗
XX
来自邻乡的过客
悄悄俯瞰着这座城市
摩天大楼仿佛被封锁在
还没有高清电视的时代
男女主角皆是
海市蜃楼中被熏焦的
蒙面外星怪物
---------------
XXX
曾一起走遍天下
见证过多少离别再重逢
遍体鳞伤的身躯
被旅人收进压缩袋的
回忆和足迹
塞满
(前首的画面感饱满,可是末行想象的夸饰过大。次首的线索和暗示稍多,『压缩袋』可免,而『足迹』算是重复。)
5 comments:
Unknown
February 23, 2017 at 8:16 AM
1. 月亮(??) 2. 行李箱
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Unknown
February 23, 2017 at 9:15 AM
飞机、旅行箱
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C
February 23, 2017 at 12:06 PM
煙霧/煙霧、旅行箱
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朱嘉怡
February 28, 2017 at 10:58 PM
第二首:行李箱
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Unknown
March 8, 2017 at 2:57 PM
云彩。行李箱。
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1. 月亮(??) 2. 行李箱
ReplyDelete飞机、旅行箱
ReplyDelete煙霧/煙霧、旅行箱
ReplyDelete第二首:行李箱
ReplyDelete云彩。行李箱。
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